The hardest part of being a parent is other kids parents

 I have stayed fairly consistent over time in my belief that the hardest part about being a parent is other peoples parenting. If anything, my agreement with this statement has only grown as my kids have grown and I have been "forced" to have to deal with other peoples parenting choices more frequently.

Now I want to make it clear that I do the best I can to not judge other peoples parenting choices. My annoyance with the things they say and do to their own children has no correlation with a perceived judgement that they should or shouldn't be doing it. I simply despise that the choices they make force me to alter my interactions with my children. I'm certain other mothers feel that way about me too.

As a parent you are allowed to expose your children to what you deem appropriate. You are allowed to discipline how you see fit. You are allowed to give or not give anything and everything to your children. You can do what YOU want relating to YOUR children.

Well as the kids get older and they venture away from your house and into others homes or others voices at school they are instantly exposed to an entire world of things they have never heard or seen before. Of course this is life. As we grow we see new things and learn new things every day. But when you are a child, it is your parents responsibility to expose you to those things when they feel you are ready (although obviously not always possible). Truthfully I just really hate that I have to have conversations with my kid about little Billy's obsession with condoms because his parents thought it was cool to let him play with theirs (yes this really happened).

It is a strange and annoying adjustment to realize that you have crossed into a place in your relationship with your children where you seemingly spend more time answering their questions about things they heard or saw with one of their peers than you do learning about their unique thoughts and perceptions of the world around them.

I think as moms the best thing we can do is stay open and honest with our children when they have questions about something they heard, and most importantly, don't overreact. This is the one I struggle with the most. As my children get older I am consciously aware that my reaction to what they say shapes whether they feel they can be honest with me about things they are curious about. Although they are frequently asking me things that I just wouldn't have exposed them to yet, I try to be accepting of their thoughts, share with them my honest answers in a way that still feels age appropriate to me, and just hope for the best.

I have NO desire to be my kids friend. I am their parent. But I do desire for them to feel as though they can trust me with questions and situations they know I might not like. Their friends will lie to them. Their friends will give them really bad advice. It terrifies me to think of the day when they hear something from their friend and they don't ask me about it. So for now, although I am SUPER annoyed that other parents choices change my relationship with my kids, I try to use it as a learning opportunity for me and my kids and a chance for us to grow some trust that they can really tell me anything. I won't always like it, but I will always be there.