If that thing falls out one more time I'm going to glue it to your face

Oh the joys of having new babies.

While there are certainly many wonderful things about having adorable, cute, cuddly, sweet smelling, smiling babies...none of those things are wonderful at 3:00 in the morning.

I lived and died by two things when my kids were babies...their swing and their moo moo (you may call it a paci, soother, binky, etc). Without those two things I truly may have lost my mind. When neither of those things worked or for example they wouldn't keep their moo moo in their mouth especially in the middle of the night I found myself having unreasonable thoughts like, "if that thing falls out of your mouth one more time I'm going to glue it to your face." And in conversations with other mothers, especially a great friend who just had a baby, I realized that many moms feel this way.

I think as our children get older we become less sympathetic to the life of the new mother. Mothers with new babies have it rough. In our "older kid" life we forget how unbelievably hard it was when our children were incapable of doing anything for themselves. How honestly sad and lonely that life was. We lived and died by the needs of our children and oh my God how rough was that? Ridiculously!

I place no judgement on the choices new moms make with their children. Ok, I try hard not to place judgement. I think you have to do what is right for your child but sometimes, it's impossible to figure out what that really is because no one around you will let you form your own opinion. They all have an idea of the "right" way to parent; Which doesn't exist BTW.

The best advice I can give a new mom is fuck 'em honestly. Sorry to be so frank but I kind of think that's what people like about the way I say things; honestly and straight forward. You can't please everyone. You shouldn't even try. The best thing you can do is please yourself and make choices for your life and your baby that make you happy.

You will never make anyone else happy. People suck. Even when you give them what they want, they will change their mind. Be true to yourself. That baby wants to do what you want it to do. You are a confident, capable, amazing woman. You carried that baby for 10 months in your stomach. You birthed that baby.

You can do it! I promise you can. Don't you dare let anyone tell you that you can't.