Trying to teach your children how to be responsible, respectful, functioning future adults is insanely difficult. Mostly because I'm a giant walking contradiction.
On a daily basis I find myself contradicting the things I ask of my children by doing something entirely different myself. I require they always use good manners, but sometimes I forget to say "please" when I ask them to do something or "thank you" when they do what I ask. I continuously remind them to be kind to one another, but I know I'm not always kind to everyone around me. I ask them to not yell at one another, but rolled down the window in my car the other day to literally scream at a moron who almost killed us; he deserved it but that's obviously not the point.
If the old saying is true that children are more likely to mimic our actions rather then follow our words then why do we as parents frequently live the more sarcastic life lesson of "do as I say not as I do?" I guess my only thought is that we want our children to be better than we are...but that's a total cop-out.
Reality is that we are flawed human beings and teaching another human being how to be better than we are is ridiculously challenging and frankly almost impossible unless we mirror our desires for them with actions, not words. But this is where the contradiction part comes in. I'm an adult. I have earned in my mind the right to not always say and do the right thing. Too bad the day I had children all that went to crap...I no longer had the right to say and do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I chose to have a baby and therefore I chose to take on the responsibility that came with that, including teaching that little child how to be a future functioning adult in our society.
I saw this picture once on this website by husband was looking at. It was meant to be funny, and trust me it was, but in a way it totally scarred me. It was a little boy, maybe 11 or 12 years old holding both his middle fingers up at the camera with the tagline of "are you raising a douche bag?" I'm terrified honestly that my kids will grow up to be whiny, entitled little jerks that people see on the street and think "their mother raised a douche bag." Hopefully however, it won't be because they are mirroring the behavior I have taught them through my actions.
I struggle everyday to teach my children to be good people. Respectful of others and respectful of themselves. I definitely do things I shouldn't, but the lessons I teach my children aren't just words. Sure sometimes I contradict what I tell them...who doesn't...but as long as I stay conscious of the bigger picture, the larger lessons I want to teach my kids, and continue to focus on not raising little jerks, my mild contradictions will hopefully show my kids that I'm not always perfect; and they don't always have to be either. Now that's a worthwhile lesson to teach them.
